Well i think yesterday was a sucky day... It was 19th May so obviously it was sucky. It sucks every year. Any small thing get's me really sad/angry/angsty so i aplogise to all those of whom i affected haha. It was her birthday :( And well it just sucks to know that ill never be buying a cake for her again, never be getting her a gift, never be going out with her to celebrate and all that stuff. But i guess it's time to let go more. I will always remember her. Because she was the one and only person who always remembered me :). Always. So right now i have to realise nobody can ever replace her and that is not necessarily very bad. I mean there was someone who came close but then I realised that all that happened was that I go hurt because I'll always compare any close friends to her and that isn't right. So i've decided to just live life as best I can and perhaps stop thinking about her? And appreciate the friends I have now :). People like Justin, Joey, Isaac, Leon, Sabu, Azri, Freddy, Joon keat, Andrew, Jermain <3, Elaina <3, K mah, Marc, Joshua, Jess, James, Halim and so many many many more which I'm so sorry but I dont have enough time to list them all out haha. But please do know i appreciate youre friendship so much especially some of you. Without you I dont think i would have been able to make it through those times with a smile on my face. No sense being upset... i.e nonsense lol. So might as well try to be happy all the time eventhough it's really hard.
Everyone is busy nowadays, some more than other's so i've come to understand that some of my friends won't always be there right? Those closest to me seem to be the busiest but on the other hand I'm always extremely busy... I've just been pushing too many things aside and avoiding things like work and responsibility for too long and I've just been using the excuse that I'm out with my friends. Reality is that everyone is busy studying or working or something especially since University is starting soon too so like my Uni friends will all be busy and stuff.... So i should study too eh :). Well study more anyway... Maybe if I keep secluding myself in my little room and studying like a good little boy I won't feel the impending urge to go out or feel lonely all the time. Its time to change because honestly..
Time is finite and we just have to spend it wisely eh :).
"Dont be afraid to be who you are but dont be afraid to change who you are, especially when you truly love somebody"
"Don't limit yourself, anything is possible, and any love is true, friendship is also a part of love, don't lose it, try to work things through"
2 things she said to me :) that I will always, ALWAYS remember.
And to all those people who think im weirdly expressive because i tend to use <3 and lavu and love alot haha maybe if you tried it too you'd be alot happier than you are now :). Its ok for a GUY to be expressive it's just different from the norm and some people just dont know how to react. Haha. Just because someone doesn't show he care's doesnt mean he doesnt care at all It may just mean he doesnt know how to show he cares... there is the off chance he rly doesnt care but yeah dont think about that XD
