Loving every second of happiness.
I gotta feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night!
Its really a pleasent life that anyone would love
And im so thankful because of everyone around me
PS im allergic to mushrooms and i dont like insects that much

Ok so im posting again because apaprently the previous post didnt make me feel any better.

Im so lost and confused and hurt and unsettled and angry and I dont know what else seriously. Why does all this have to happen at once. Its really heart wrenching and to painful for me to bear. Seriously. Went to the psychiatrist yesterday night and had a talk. felt a little better but my i can't heal these scars because these are wounds that can never be healed. Ever. I cry and cry but is that all I can do? I burden my friends and that is all I can do. I really don't know what to do. Every single time i wish she was here but she's not. Its been 5 years and I still can't forget, I still can't let go. And now when i need her the most I don't know what to do. He used to fill her space but that's no longer true. Just another person walking by just another person whom hurt me. Just another person I hurt. Crap this is so retarded seriously. I can't even describe the pain. I really just feel like going into an emotionless state. Can't pretend anymore. I just don't have the energy to do so. Not anymore. Im surrounded by pretentious people and I'm always doubting myself some people just take advantage. This is such a hopeless situation ttm. haiz. Its like someone keeps reaching inside my body and pulling out my organs one by one.. what a weird analogy but yeah nvm its fine. You know what frustrates me the most. It's as if we are only friends when there's no one else around but when other people come into the picture he drifts away completely and utterly. Leaving me behind all alone. Damn. Thinking too much? I don't really know. It just frustrates me ttm. I don't know what to do. Just feel like going on my knees and begging god for guidance and maybe that will work but i don't know. Crap this rly sucks. Rly. All of it. damn...