ADNAAN IS
tired of being someone he's not
tired of watching people pass him by
tired of running away
tired of all the lies and deceit
tired of this devoid emptiness
tired of having his heart ripped out
tired of thinking
tired of trying
tired of being with people just to let the day go by
tired of all the Hi's when theres nothing to say
tired of being backstabbed
tired of people who cant tell him things in his face
tired of people who pretend
tired of pretending
tired of all this crap
SICK AND TIRED OF EVERYTHING
As anyone who reads this can guess i am apparently, tired. Its just so frustrating when you feel this way. I always get like this eventually. I knew my happiness would only be momentary yet why can't i stop myself from being drowned in delusions filled with insipid thoughts and frustrating conundrums. Fraught by the pain and anguish from being deprived, I always feel so alone even when I am surrounded by a sea of people; "A city is just many lonely people living together" to quote.
Though I am enveloped by a variety of emotions that surpass my human comprehension. It is difficult if not impossible to understand oneself. But why is it I feel so lost to the extent whereby I am unable to define my humanity and existence.
There are people who i feel at one with and I can talk to them as if I am myself and they know me better than anyone else. But recently, I've lost that feeling. The people whom i thought were close to me drift away, taking my sanity with them. Any one who knows me will know I get very emotional and I have this need to sort of have people around me and talk to me, sounds very pathetic and AA but i can't run away from who I am. I've always been this way so it's hard to change. Putting up a facade and a wall around my feelings only seems to deprive me of my one true character. Lost and confused I struggle to find myself again in a desperate attempt to embody who i once was. Maybe it's just the TJC environment that's getting to me a little :/. And just to clarify with people, just because i don't talk doesn't mean I am emo or anything... As i said, I'm really tired of it all. Being the random person is just not my thing, or maybe i've lost the urge to speak with those around me. Though i find myself at ease with the bowler's causing my head to spin endlessly as I fail to see why I'm feeling this way around other people. God this sound's whiny, but alas, I'm tired of thinking about it.
Lost and confused the wise man sat and stared into the blue skies,
He wondered why it would never fall and why it always cries,
As he pondered, he fell into a deep abyss,
And now he find's himself lost in a cloud of myst.
