Ah just filled with so much anger and hatred just totally had to blog yeah. But to prevent this from being a total hate post because i'm not like that, just wanted to say that though i haven't blogged in so long i just wanna thank all those people who made my 18th birthday quite memorable. So thanks to _ _ _ _ _ ( cant refer because im currently hating this person) for coming at 12:05am on my birthday to smack cake in my face. Thanks to all those dinners ive had with all my wonderful friends. Thanks to E for embarrasing me at fish & co haha and yeah to everyone else esp my old pw group who gave me all i could ever have wanted for my birthday :).
So anyway really angry now that typing that _ _ _ _ _ made me sick.
You know i really hate people who are unappreciative and worst of dare to lie to me about such big things that concerns me; especially people who totally PRETEND to be you're friend when their not! PRETEND to ask how you are when they really dont care. And PRETEND to be trustworthy but are actually full of deceit and lies. Since when has the world become so twisted where people lie to survive. Is it impossible to find people who can just be honest and tell you when they dont care? It hurts, the truth always hurts. But the truth has never hurt me so why the fuck did you keep it away from me. Dont you know that i'm the kind of person who appreciates honesty? Lying about something is just like killing youreself inside. Its all just been a game hasnt it? Since when is teenage life such a big predicament? We fill ourselves up with our " so called" problems when we dont even realise the real problems in life. Its all about crap. It is all crap. It sucks feeling this way but i dont really care anymore. And if i actually cared about what people think of me, then i wouldnt be writing this vulgar and insinuative post full of anger and mistrust. Hopeless. Really hopeless.
Everytime i try to tell myself to smile and that tomorrow will be a better day, it just comes and bites me in the butt. I should be even happier, I dont have any real problems because teenagers are not suppose to have such problems we just hype it up to be more than it needs to be. But for once. This is a real problem and they seem to be piling up. God i hate this.
Well whatever.
( missing a friend )
