Loving every second of happiness.
I gotta feeling, tonight's gonna be a good night!
Its really a pleasent life that anyone would love
And im so thankful because of everyone around me
PS im allergic to mushrooms and i dont like insects that much
Sucks to realise that you aren't really close to someone you thought u were... Haha. I'm such a sucker so gullible! It's only a matter of time before he or she shows you that you aren't really a close friend. No appreciation. Haha. Sometimes I wonder what's so wrong with being close to a guy or 2 girls being close to each other... Sad really. Ah well. I'm tired of treating people like I would give my life up for them when I clearly know they will not do anything near the same. For once I wish people would reciprocate. But nvm haha... Guess I'm just a sucker a's usual. Life sucks yeah. Ok now that's out of my system I shall just not are about that person a's much. My solid vow to never again fall into this trap which just makes me a 100x more sad. Ah well. Heck!! Bye for now. Time to change my attitude to a bit more don't care.
Friday, January 14, 2011 4:25 PM
You know sometimes I really wonder if the people around me actually want me around... Dinner with jinyi and Denise last night was awesome because I know they wanted mw around but on other occasions you can really tell when people don't want you around. Like when you say you have to go they all say Or one of them says something like "if you need to go now just go Lo, it's okay" making it sound like they are giving me approval to not go. But whatever totally. Haha I always put myself in these kind of situations and friendships were after a while I realise people I thought close to me aren't really that close... We grow apart haha.. Well more like the other party those I'm just stonning half the time and am in my own delusional world were everything is perfect haha.
It hurts when people don't call you to go out and do stuff but you find out suddenly and just force yourself along >.<. Haha. Well now I realised that some people don't really want me around. Don't call me when I'm not there but I call them when they are missing. In the end I think I'm just going to give up on such pointless friendships. Seriously. It always ends in hurt Pehaps if I was a more normal Malay boy I would have more lasting relations like some of my other friends. Maybe Malays should hang with Malays and chinese with Chinese at times... I don't know. Well at the end of the day I don't hate em but that doesn't mean I have to like them anymore I suppose B). Just a hi bye situation. So for now bye.
You don't talk. You don't call. I always have to initiate but it's always me who falls. What's the pt of such sadness. It's time to remove such flaws and move on to a happier light.
Sunday, January 9, 2011 7:09 AM
Sometimes I wish people would be like an open book like tron or something.... You can just remove their disk in order to figure out what their thinking instead of this guess game that I seem to be playing all the time... I dont even know if youre angry at me or something but I hope if you are you'll tell me soon. Asking you alone is a bit hard. I guess I keep guessing but I'll never really know anything. ALl i do is make peopel angry i guess sigh. Ah well hope it will all turn out for the best soon enough :)... SIGH! And omg tomorrow is Monday and I have almost nothing to do sigh!
All grown Up Tuesday, January 4, 2011 9:37 AM
I so needed today. A welcome relief. In a way. Though i was pissed by ... again. But yeah it was my fault this time for going offline so yeah no big deal. Nvm progress of heck caring is at 70% and eventually it will reach 100% and I will finally have GROWN UP. yup thats the word GROWN UP. Time to stop being a child and playing with dispensable toys and get proper ones that I would keep for a lifetime. Im usually treated that way so I'm kind of used to it by now though this last blow was really like the final cut. Now, I have to learn to differentiate between superficial and deep. Yeah. It really is time to GROW UP. So anyway aside from that today was relatively happy went out with annete jasmine elaina k mah and aaron. really needed to be around people after what happened in the afternoon and stuff. Hate that. Lol strange im still talking to ... But yeah ah well ... is akin to a goldfish. No idea whats going on and oblivious of whats happening around him. Ah well. Anyway im still slightly jet lagged but yeah this is normal so no big deal. Tmr is another day where i have to find smth to do... as usual. Maybe going Diane's house on thursday? Not sure. Well I should go get ash from the airport. More like I have to or i wouldnt feel like a proper friend. But happy to do it. Anyway ta ta for now whoever you are.
Monday, January 3, 2011 11:58 PM
I was so looking forward to spending time with you but it seems that you dont feel the same haha. I guess its just my fault for picking a wrong best friend right? Ah well. Your so blur i bet you dont even realise anything. Well you dont read this which makes this easier. Lol. Haha i was wrong to have compared you to her. You're nothing like her and i was being disrespectful to her by comparing the two of you. I regret that now. Whatever. Im sorry Ger for disgracing your memory.
You could have been a little excited about my arrival? But actually you couldnt care less and only bothered like what 14 hrs later? Yeah fetch me? What a lie. Seriously. Yeah ive considered maybe that isnt you but you could at least act like it. Not once did u ask me out its always me asking you lol. One way friendship thats how i look at it. Sure u listen to what i have to say but all you do is say "I dont know what to say" half the time. Yeah it was wrong to tell you all those stuff. I know you say you have no secrets and so like theres nth i know about u that the whole world doesnt alrdy know and most of the time they know before i do. Well yeah they are girls and i expect that from you i guess. You're just like that i suppose. Not an excuse. A fatal flaw in my eyes. Maybe i was just a game lol cose u alrdy have 2. You just wanted a third safety net? well i dont have that luxury. I have none. So thanks yeah. For being a "friend". Jeez a best friend? not even a friend more of an acquaintance. The new year has brought with it this blessing to me! And you know what i really dont care anymore though i cant honestly say i really dont care because i still do. Yeah im on the verge of not caring already. Because i realise you arent worth my attention and time. It just took me 1 year to realise. Lol. Shit man.
I must be totally retarded or something lol. there were so many hints yup but its ok. Whatever man seriously. I think im just going to give up already because i honestly think its better not to have u even remotely in my life anymore. Everytime i think about it, it only causes me pain. So why bother right? yeah :). I think its time to appreciate other people more. Ive been too blinded by you. Cancelling appointments just to hang wid u when you dont know. Lol i must be retarded. there are people who actually want to hang with me yet i cancelled with them to hang with you who dont even bother asking me haha. Lol. Ok i must be such a retarded joker. I deserve this pain and misery. So i can deal wid it move on and be happy about everything else around me :D. Yeah thats the plan. Your the last little flaw that needs to be cut. I just dont have the guts to say it yet. the time will come though :).
Maybe im just expecting too much from u? But even when i put it at the bare minimum haha i realised that.. all I am to u is an online buddy right? lol ok. thats going nowhere. whatever.
a friend? 9:06 AM
To call you a friend would be like saying water makes fire stronger,
to call you a friend would be like saying conditioner first before shampoo,
to call you a friend would be like stabbing an animal.
to call you a friend is a epitome,
to call you a friend the person must be dreaming,
Your nothing but a fake a couldnt care less and guess what i couldnt care-less either.
So thats what u get for being a "friend". Eew i shouldnt even use that word to remotely describe u. And i thought u were a best friend too... what a joke. obviously wrong. Stupid flirt-noobie. Go to hell man. Don't bother making up all your excuses. F u. Seriously.
7:09 AM
Hate u ttm. Seriously. What kind of friend are u ?
